PMH Update

hi there,
since al is so wonderful, he has offered to update the blog for me while i'm away.
so no news yet. there was plans for a surgery but it doesn't look like it can happen so they're "racking their brains" trying to figure something else out. i really hope they do soon cuz i'm going to go loco up in here. it's day 2 and i'm so bored. i'm really happy about all my visitors though, my mom even came up!!
here's a couple of pics of what i've been up to:
eating french fries

reading magazines

getting a constant supply of dilaudid


the drugs are definitely taking the edge off of the pain. and even though i only sleep for a couple of hours at a time, they are deep sleeps. i even remembered a dream i had. yesterday i had watched tyra and it was about spotting couture fakes. so in my dream, i was in the audience at that same taping, and tyra was talking about how the biggest culprit right now is an Yves Saint Laurent counterfeiter. then she went on about how buying fakes contributes to street crime etc. but then she started praising the person who was responsible for these ysl fakes and said the tyra show apprehended her and here she is... "yves saint lauraunt" kay!
then aunt kay rolls out in her black slacks and white blouse and was doing her aunt kay-isms "oh god love ya anyway" "uh huh, uh huh, yup" and the audience was eating it up. so was i, i thought it was freakin hilarious.
anyways, my eyes are crossing from the drugs and al needs to get home so i'm done for now. there's a small chance that i can get the internet in my room, hopefully i'll find out soon.
'night.

be back soon....

well they are hospitalizing me. i go in tomorrow morning and i may not get out until monday. im nervous but i know its for the best. i have things ive been wanting to post about but ive been way to sore and tired. when i get back im going to blog the heck out of this thing. its going to be a blog o topia.

good night.

sigh.

originally i said i didnt want to use this blog to complain or post anything negative, but things have been so hard lately i have nothing else to post about. i cant go out, i cant leave the bed/couch. its really starting to affect me mentally. not only am in in constant discomfort and pain but now i just feel like im going crazy. and i just found out that i cant get into see the doctor till the 5th of december. i dont know what im going to do for the next week. im afraid. and i start chemo on the 3rd. i really wanted to have this last bit of time to myself, to feel strong and do what i wanted to do before the chemo starts. and i was under the impression that i needed this appointment before the chemo, just in case i needed surgery. i really hate feeling like i have to suffer because other people drop the ball. like basically my whole experience at this hospital. this appointment was supposed to be set up last week. clearly they forgot and wouldnt have called me if al and i hadnt hounded everyone that works there yesterday. i dont know how im going to do this, another week of living like this. i was just hoping i could get an appointment so they could give me some tips on how to get relief. i shouldnt complain im sure there are a ton of people going through much worse than me. i just feel like im having more time stolen from me. its not fair. i spend at least 3/4s of my day in the bathroom. the rest of the time im waiting to have to go to the bathroom, or in pain.
im going to try to think of positive things. we are ordering swiss chalet for dinner. theres a new gossip girl on tonight. fonzie is so cute, she knows im sick so she has been following me around and acting like a guard cat. she wont leave my side, its so adorable. ummm. thats about it.
im also very thirsty. im drinking fluids, but obviously that doesnt help my constant leaking situation. but if i stop im worried about my kidneys since theres only one good working one.
well i have to go back to the bathroom. sorry for being a drag. hopefully my next post wont suck.

say what?

sorry i havent been blogging this week, ive been feeling like total shit. im going to d o a big one later, i already have some saved in a draft.


see you tonight!

look below me!!

'keepin it brief 'aka '6 oreo cookies down'

i started this blog and a bunch of crap got erased for some reason. so ill try to re write.
mostly i was trying to say i dont have much to write about because of this stupid bladder issue. its so uncomfortable and awful. a urologist was supposed to call me to make an appt and no one has. i tried to call them on friday and was passed around to a bunch of people and then i got one nurse who laughed and said 'ha, good luck trying on a friday, everyone leaves early on a friday.' oh, im sorry, i thought i was calling a hospital not an elementary school. anyways i have to call them first thing tomorrow and get on their asses.

im going to have to do two things so i can keep this brief. the first is im going to try to remember and write things starting today and going backwards. the second is im going to write beside the pictures like a slide show because i couldnt upload them in a proper order.
so today al and i went to ikea to get our christmas decorations. they look pretty nice i cant wait to put them up. the ladies brunch is going to look so nice, i really hope that this bladder thing doesnt get in the way of anything.
yesterday i didnt leave the house, and didnt have the baking party alex and i had planned. she came over though which is still gt's and i hadnt seen her in like two weeks. Lisa came over too, we ate junk food and watched every episode of season two of the sarah silverman show. H-I -Larious. we also had a debate about what it takes to make a marriage successful, and what the right steps in a relationship to take are, to make sure its going to last. it was interesting, because were all a little different which is a good thing. its nice that we all bring a little something different to the table but still respect what the other has to say. because really, none of us have any idea what were talking about, all we can do is base what we know on life experiences. and that doesnt make us experts in anyway. if someone knew the answers to what makes a marriage successful, theyd be rich as all get out and no one would get divorced.
friday al and i ordered in and watched The brothers solomon. its got Gob from arrested development in it. it was pretty funny. like a 6.5 our of 10.
Hey im watching the Girls Next Door right now, one of my fave shows, and McLovin from superbad is on it right now with Bridget. hilarious.
anyways, the rest of the week is a blur. stupid bladder. had a couple of hospital appointments. didnt do much at night. the weekend before was very eventful, went to the states and had an awesome time. here's the slide show....





ok, these werent done on the weekend, i think it was tuesday night maybe. They are called grasshopper cupcakes. chocolate cake, with a york peppermint patty in the center, with a mint buttercream frosting. deeelish. to quote al 'these are the best cupcakes ever'.


Heres al ordering at mighty taco. wowee. this place was interesting. that big guy is the manager, he yelled out the word 'retard' while al was ordering. and hes wearing sunglasses.

this is what i though of their mighty taco.


however, i didnt think so badly of their fountain pop and roastidos.

for the first time in her life, lisa couldnt finish a plate of nachos. her name of weiner con queso might have to be revoked.

this was when i first got my order, i was so unsure....

this was als order. i cant remember what he got but hes written all about it in his mighty taco group that he moderates on facebook. al and his friends used to travel over the river every week to get this shit.

als in heaven here

i bet the employees at tops here this 'hey mam im at taps' a billion times a day from us hilarious canadians.

they have the best junk food in the states. for example, chubby hubby ice cream. my favorite. you cant get it in canada for some reason. its vanilla with a fudge ripple, with chocolate covered, peanut butter filled pretzels scattered throughout.

'hey mam, im at taps!'

heres me at target trying to make some very important decisions

lisa and i preparing for the changerooms

we love to shop!!

al loves to pose!!

lisa loves to smile!!

i spent all my money here. on some really cute dresses.


well i guess thats it for pictures. i guess im done for now.
when i was a kid i thought that the stars of all my favorite shows sang the theme song. i really wish this were true. well it was in one exception. alan thicke sang the growing pains theme song. he also composed the wheel of fortune theme as well as diff'nt strokes and facts of life.
if i had my own sitcom i would insist on singing the theme song.

angry

so it could have been worse. although they only checked the 'provisional mri' since the final results werent ready yet. im not sure why they brought me in if they didnt have results. so i had blood work done and gave a urine sample, and then they gave me some results. the tumor so far doesnt look too much different then before. so thats fairly good news, although im going to be starting chemo anyways in two weeks. im ok with that. what im not ok with is the fact that one of my kidneys isnt working and theres urine in my pelvis and they arent sure that can be fixed. this urine is constantly leaking out of me, my bladder isnt working. im wearing diapers and feel the urgency to pee and its very uncomfortable and gross. this could be the rest of my life. im not sure i can handle that. im sure ill feel better later, but right now i feel like things are just really unfair and i dont see any sort of light at the end.

anyways ill post something more fun later,about our trip 'over the river'.

blergh

im still not feeling so great. im at my parents so im not going to post a for real blog. i just showered and then im going to lay down for the night. i dont know if its withdrawl or what, but going off this steroid is effing with me in the worst way. im so uncomfortable and my bladder is screwed up.
i just felt i need to post something to say that ill have a real blog up soon,and to never ever rent I know who killed me. its a steaming pile of crap. its not lohans fault. although shes no meryl streep. its the messiest directing i think ive ever seen and it seems like there was a lot of effort put into the stripping scenes and zero in crucuial plot developments, character development etc. stupid blue roses pop up everywheere for no reason. she gets this crazy robot hand, as if you would just get an awesome robot hand in a public american hospital. rotten tomatoes gave it a 5% fresh rating


ok im going to go put my leg up and hope i fall asleep early.