so it could have been worse. although they only checked the 'provisional mri' since the final results werent ready yet. im not sure why they brought me in if they didnt have results. so i had blood work done and gave a urine sample, and then they gave me some results. the tumor so far doesnt look too much different then before. so thats fairly good news, although im going to be starting chemo anyways in two weeks. im ok with that. what im not ok with is the fact that one of my kidneys isnt working and theres urine in my pelvis and they arent sure that can be fixed. this urine is constantly leaking out of me, my bladder isnt working. im wearing diapers and feel the urgency to pee and its very uncomfortable and gross. this could be the rest of my life. im not sure i can handle that. im sure ill feel better later, but right now i feel like things are just really unfair and i dont see any sort of light at the end.
anyways ill post something more fun later,about our trip 'over the river'.
angry
Monday, November 19, 2007
Posted by Cheryl Nelson-McCartney at 12:07 PM
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5 comments:
I know it's very insignificant, but I'm going to post your horoscope for the week again:
Your Week Ahead: You have every reason to be optimistic. It's just that there are currently some rather aggravating, exasperating factors. Get into them and they'll get into you. Ignore them and they'll go away. You really don't need to resent - or regret anything. Something is making you feel insecure. Somewhere in your world there's an unresolved issue that urgently requires a solution. But this is all nothing more than a brief storm amid a period of prolonged sunshine. Take cover where you can, by taking lightly some of your big concerns. Even if you get caught in the emotional rain, you'll soon dry out again.
Focus on the fact that your tumor has not advanced. That is the best news you've had in a long time. I can't even imagine how uncomfortable you are with your bladder situation, but at the same time, I would take adult diapers any day over a spreading tumor. And I know it feels foreign and horrific, and I know that this isn't any consolation, but one day we will probably all be in diapers... you're just facing these types of things way too early. It isn't fair, and I'm not trying to diminish your feelings, but I think it's important to be thankful for the good in life and focus more on the positive. When you start concentrating on all of the good things that enrich your life you will start to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow will be a better day, I just know it. xoxox
Alex this is so true, Cheryl will handle this like everything else head on with her strength and humour. the best news is the tumour hasn't changed, now if they can get this latest obstacle out of the way, hopefully it can be contolled or maybe send her to a uroligist who knows the bladder inside.
First, I need to say "Thank you" for writing this out in your blog. You are a gifted writer and I am in awe of your candour.
I love you to bits and I pray for only good things to happen to you and within you!
Keep posting on your blog; keep your head and heart in perspective; be confident that you are loved.
You are a dear, kind soul!
keep yer chin up girl.. love you xoxox
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